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New Product- PetriCad 1.0 (The Final Release)

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11. ...the comments revealing, as they did, your complete lack of contact with reality.
Answer: Ignatius - in his letter to Abelman's Dry Goods.

It was in the list of Ignatius quotes, but otherwise I'm sure everyone would have assumed it was Petri. To both Petri and Ignatius, someone who disagrees is never simply wrong, but always has no mental faculties whatsoever.

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12. ...didn't have the faintest idea of the subject but nevertheless decided to let us all know how ignorant he is.
Answer: Petri - #83557 - 08/04/07 05:02 AM

It sounds exactly like Ignatius, always talking about other people's ignorance, and always speaking as though everyone else agrees with his bizarre views on that. But in this case it's Petri. This one wasn't in the hand-outs.

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13. Where did you get your training at - the Kremlin?
Answer: Petri - #76310 - 03/12/07 01:53 PM

It was in the second list of Petri quotes, but it sounds like a lot of the things Ignatius said to Patrolman Mancuso. I shouldn't have left off the first part of the quote, "How wonderful!" That sounds like Ignatius too

14. He will probably be coming after us in a few moments, as soon as he has subdued that aging fascist.
Answer: Ignatius - to his mother, in the bar, after the incident with Patrolman Mancuso.

15. Were you more aware, you would know or realize by now....
Answer: Ignatius - in his letter to Abelman's Dry Goods

16. I have received your offensive communication.
Answer: Ignatius - in his reply to Myrna's letter.

17. More evidence of your profound ignorance.
Answer: Petri - #83087 - 07/26/07 04:59 AM

This was on the second list. It sounds just like Ignatius, but it's Petri. Never just ordinary mental deficiency with either of them, always extreme.

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"ray, you have certainly dated yourself with this reference!"

......but could the link say it any better? Nevertheless, this thread has been an entertaining diversion from the summertime dog days. Literary, humorous, acerbic, and such a departure from the work-a-day world of CAD. Makes me think there should be an "Off-topic" category for VW users like many other forums have. Just a way to let off steam and such.

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(It's not a case of 'too much time on my hands.' In fact, I really can't afford all the time I'm putting into this nonsense. It's just my obsessive-compulsive disorder, combined with the discovery that a character in my favorite novel is alive and blustering. Imagine meeting someone who talks and acts just like Don Quixote, complete with a suit of armor and a squire riding on a donkey. Wouldn't you drop everything and watch him, try to get him to joust with something?)

18. I don't have time for people like you. You know so little that it's not even funny.
Answer: Petri - #74624 - 02/17/07 06:14 AM

This one wasn't in the lists. I had marked it as Ignatius until I saw that Simon thought it was Petri, which made me check all my answers. I found I'd gotten 5 of them wrong.

19. My apologies for being so many decades ahead of London.
Answer: Petri - #83329 - 07/31/07 07:15 AM

It's in the third list of Petri quotes. Without that, it would be very hard to tell. Ignatius also thinks of himself as a very advanced being, 'a life form which we simply are unable to comprehend' (as the real Mr. Spock would say.)

20. So far I have been able to circumvent the various attempts to censor my views.
Answer: Petri - #79312 - 05/12/07 05:35 AM

Both Ignatius and Petri see themselves as persecuted heroes whom the authorities want to silence because of the threat posed by their great intellectual power. So it could be either one. It wasn't on any of the lists, and there's absolutely nothing to indicate which character it came from. This was one of the 5 that I got wrong.

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21. Oh, my God! Are they letting her speak in public now?
Answer: Ignatius - aloud, reacting to Myrna's letter.

Not on the hand-outs, but the emphatic "Oh, my God!" identifies it as spoken rather than written, so it couldn't have been in the forum. When writing, Ignatius uses the same sardonic interjections as Petri:

"Oh, dear."

"I see."

"How sad."


22. ....raises your rating from the previous "non-sentient life form" to "able to read, but non-intelligent"
Answer: Petri - from the current thread - #84062 - 08/15/07 08:13 AM

23. You have so far managed to demonstrate a deep and profound ignorance....
Answer: Petri - #67877 - 12/11/06 01:50 AM

Ignatius uses the phrase "profound ignorance" just as often as Petri does. There really aren't any clues as to which of them said this. The quote wasn't in any of the lists of quotes, so it was very difficult. I myself got this one wrong, and would never have known the correct answer without the search engine.

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How fascinating! The ignoramuses & idiots of the Tech Board have found something even remotely useful to do! Perhaps their employers and clients can now sigh in relief: these people are not doing quite as much damage in their projects as they are obsessed in argumentum ad hominem and making themselves even more ridiculous than before. Quite a feat, the latter, if I may say so.


The original idea about PetriCAD is extremely valid. I have a pretty good view what it should be like. But, alas! PetriCAD would be totally useless to many VW users: it would require intelligence!

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To both Petri and Ignatius, someone who disagrees is never simply wrong, but always has no mental faculties whatsoever.

I don't know who this "Ignatius" is, but: please, demonstrate some mental faculties!

Should you have any, you are still missing the point: I am always right. If I'm not sure that I am, I won't write, I won't speak. When I do, I am right.

Simple, huh?

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please, demonstrate some mental faculties!

.... Should you have any, you are still missing the point: I am always right. If I'm not sure that I am, I won't write, I won't speak. When I do, I am right.

I see.

Is that so, Jan! I guess I was - for once - the Reasonable Man and adjusted myself to the world. Well, I was wrong, then: there was the old (and better) way.

This may explain why I have constant problems with option-drag and shift-constraints.

Oh dear. You're not.

Pete R: What do you think? Am I getting the hang of Petri's sharper, less sympathetic style of humor?

The Reasonable Man quote, by the way, is #73550 - 02/01/07 01:12 AM. Note how sharply I pounced on that error and told him he must be profoundly ignorant to have said a thing like that.

I don't know who this "Ignatius" is
Ignatius J Reilly is a character in the novel A Confederacy of Dunces. I thought I had mentioned that earlier, but I guess it slipped my mind. We're reviewing the answers to a test, comparing and contrasting that character with the character 'Petri' in VectorWorks Forum. We're at question #24. Can you give us the correct answer?
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Another cross-post from VectorScript objects and IFC

(Petri's post there and my reply to it really should be in this thread. All recent posts there refer back to a post that VectorGeek moved here, and they're all part of the discussion of the 'Petri' style of humor and of my and other users' attempts to learn it.)

(either as yourself or as your "alter ego")
I didn't mean me. I meant that VG is the alter ego of a forum user who's too polite to parody someone else's style and comments. I'm not polite. I've been parodying you at least since February. If I had thought of the name 'VectorGeek,' I would've just called you that, instead of 'old curmudgeon.'

I'm sorry I didn't clarify that earlier.

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Petri replies with the devastatingly childish comeback - 'Whatever!'

What blindingly debilitating wit! How sharp! How 'adult'!

You sure know how to get back at your foes Petri!

Please, no more of this poison...Please don't use other cruel insults like 'I know you are 'cause you said you are',or, 'I won't be your best friend'.

Petri, you finally cracked.

But for all the psuedo-worship you get for your rapier wit, you have slammed us with limp lettuce.

You can do better than that.

Yours Hopefully,


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these people are not doing quite as much damage in their projects as they are obsessed in 'argumentum ad hominem' and making themselves even more ridiculous than before. Quite a feat, the latter, if I may say so.

'Argumentum ad hominem' suits Petri's 'the world misunderstands my genius', 'no one knows how painful it is to be as intelligent as me' attitude. I think with Petri it is more of a case of 'ad hominem tu quoque' hence my expectation of Petri's using 'I know you are because you said you are'.

And while we are awash in Latin, Petri, you wouldn't be the target of some of the vitriole you cop if you stayed within the boundaries of logic and stayed away from ad hominem circumsttantiae. You could use your wit for good and not for evil if you stopped making chauvinistic, nationalistic and jingoistic remarks attacking the circumstances of strangers.

I do find alot of your posts funny...but sadly I pity your state of mind that results in your self-elevation as you survey the pathetic masses from your tower made from non-elephant products.

Why don't you do something with your life, Petri.

Respond to the challenge of a new CAD program.

I don't think a man of your calibre would make PetriCad so that only intelligent people could use it.

How would you continue your shin-kicking abuse of the bewildered?

Yours Pathetically,


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Bravo, PetriFried! A very perceptive analysis. I can see you're going to do well on the final exam.

I guess Petri is sleeping again, so I'll just post a few more of the answers to the test. Maybe he can give us the answer to the next question when he wakes up.

24. I am an anachronism. People realize this and resent it.
Answer: Ignatius - explaining to his mother why he didn't get the job.

Ignatius' sense of despair as a true genius in a world full of dunces is felt by Petri also:

But, alas! PetriCAD would be totally useless to many VW users: it would require intelligence!
and #24 wasn't on the list of Ignatius quotes; so it would have been very difficult to get this one right. It's one of the 5 that I got wrong myself, even though I wrote the test. There may be just a slight clue in the word 'anachronism.' I don't think Petri has ever used that word in the forum, even though his writing style is, alas! anachronistic. But maybe he'll use it in the future. His vocabulary is increasing even as we speak. Note his use of the word 'obsessed' right after my mention of 'obsessive-compulsive disorder':
they are obsessed in argumentum ad hominem and making themselves even more ridiculous than before.
Petri, like Ignatius, keeps a running commentary to himself or to some imaginary audience on the faults of people around him.

25. For once, I'm not taking a stance or trying to demonstrate superior logical, pointy-eared, conceptual thinking.
Answer: Petri - #83906 - 08/11/07 04:08 AM

Petri's fantasy of being Mr. Spock was referred to in several of the hand-outs, so noone should have gotten this question wrong. Star Trek first appeared on TV just after the time frame in which A Confederacy of Dunces was set. Ignatius would certainly have said all the other things about himself, but he probably wouldn't have described himself as "pointy-eared," since he always wore a green hunting cap with the flaps pulled down over his ears.

26. But his resentment and jealousy of me are increasing daily; no doubt they will ultimately overwhelm him and thereby destroy his mind. The grandeur of my physique, the complexity of my worldview, the decency and taste implicit in my carriage, the grace with which I function in the mire of today's world -- all of these at once confuse and astound Clyde.
Answer: Ignatius - in his journal, about his boss.

This was in the list of Ignatius quotes. The first sentence could easily have been Petri:

But his resentment and jealousy of me are increasing daily; no doubt they will ultimately overwhelm him and thereby destroy his mind.
but the full quote doesn't sound like him because it talks about physical superiority as well, not just mental. All we know about Petri's physical power is that he's able to render someone unconscious by pinching a nerve on their neck.
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The psychology behind Petri's tantrums is to make his comments as outlandish as possible, so that then he can say anything and the mob won't really know if he is serious or just carrying on like a head with its chicken cut off. My guess is he is thinking he can always fall back on his default excuse...'Ha Ha I was joking and you didn't get it, so the jokes on you.'

This may be backfiring on the Finn because he seems to be developing credibility issues within this forum and some are seeing him as an anachronism of Ignatian proportion.(Is this a word Jan?)

His comments dilute the good he does, or could do, and, sadly leave him a crumpled and disparate figure in a sea of VW hope and optimism.

We love you, Petri.

How's about a hug?

Anyway, I got fences to mend, tractors to lecture and ducks to recalibrate, so I must away, gentlemen. (Dramatic swosh as I turn on my heel)

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Well, I guess I was wrong again. When the innovative concept of PetriCAD was brought to my attention in emails from several people, I started to think along wrong lines.

Some time ago, I wishlisted a MindReader plug-in (or did I even announce it - hope not!): one that would read the mind of the Architect and would do what he or she wants to do, then carry out the task, regardless of what the Architect actually does.

The inspiration provided so generously by many members of this Board made me realize that the MindReader is not enough. What is needed is a (Vulcan) MindMeld plug-in: one that would

(i) interpret the Architect's intentions and translate those into a Design; and

(ii) interpret the Client's wishful thinking and translate that into a Brief; and then

(iii) modify the brain patterns of the participants to comply with each other.

In this context, my research showed that in an Earthling Mind Meld, the superior intelligence shall dominate. We all know that a Client's mental capacity is normally equivalent with that of a sponge and at best a simple calculator. My problem is wheter the mental capacity and IQ of an average VW user exceed those of the computer used in the process. Surely we do not want the computer to dominate?

However, I have just understood that this is not what PetriCAD is supposed to do, if it is to be truly PetriCAD: last night I had the strangest dream I'd ever dreamed before.

PetriCAD uses MindMeld technology and accepts input from the Client and the Architect. Then it interprets the input so that the programme is within the means of the Client and that the design principles & intention comply with Vitruvian principles and the scriptures of the Modern Movement.

Even the interactive component prevents the Architect from creating undesirable spaces and things like that. Nevertheless, the Architect is relatively free to do his or her usual irrational, irrelevant and pompous stuff during a session. When the design is saved, the Miesian Less Is More Engine optimizes the design, while the Le Corbusier Machine For Doing Architecture states the questions (properly in our epoch), thereby inevitably finding the solution. Finally the Loosian Crime Preventer removes all superfluous & pretentious elements, such as ornaments.

When the file is opened again, the Architect and the Client shall find that everything is exactly as they had been wishing and hoping and thinking and praying, planning and dreaming each night. The McMansion became a real home for generations to come (Big Daddy optional). The hardware warehouse in an industrual area a friendly, local ironmonger's shop. The hypermarket a mom'n'pop corner store. The residential subdivision a close-knit community with all essential services and caring neighbours. They see friends shaking hands, saying "How do you do?" and they join their hands and bow their heads and pray grateful prayers.

(Some typos fixed. Content intact.)

Edited by Petri
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some are seeing him as an anachronism of Ignatian proportion. (Is this a word Jan?)
It is now! (Jesuits use it, but I think you're the first in this sense. Context will indicate the different meaning, as in "more of your Ignatian bluster," or "you Ignatian gas-bag.") Good work on your very insightful essay.

Petri, your essay was very... interesting. And different! What about the test? Can you give us the correct answer to question #27? And tell us how you arrived at that answer.

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27. I am the most knowledgeable and intelligent user of VW on this forum or anywhere else. Surely there are many & various special areas where I am hardly a novice, but overall no-one beats me. What the great unwashed masses think of me does not concern me. I'm sure that you would be much better off if you'd apply the "Ignore this user" setting for me: I must make you feel totally ignorant and stupid.
Answer: Petri - #74133 - 02/09/07 10:30 AM

This quote is the centerpiece of Petri's oeuvre. It's his manifesto -- a concise yet all-revealing verbal portrait of his struggle and his passion. It captures, in a single flawless paragraph, everything he was trying to tell us in all his other posts.

He came close to the same level of self-revelation yesterday with:

I am always right. If I'm not sure that I am, I won't write, I won't speak. When I do, I am right. Simple, huh?
But although it is simpler than #27, it only shows us Petri triumphant. It doesn't immerse us in his kampf -- his daily suffering through long years of being forced to breathe the same fetid air as the inferior races, and the simultaneous loathing and pity he feels for them.

As a contrast, let's look at an example of Ignatius writing about his greatness and the problems it causes for people who behold it:

As the magnificence and originality of my worldview became explicit through conversation, she began attacking me on all levels, even kicking me under the table rather vigorously at one point. I had fascinated and confused her; in short, I was too much for her.
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Simon, that really is Petri. It's 'nice-Petri' -- his new, emerging, kinder/gentler personality. It first appeared on Aug 11, when he apologized for an insulting post. Remember that? You were skeptical, but I said we should encourage it, which is what we've done with this thread -- giving him lots of attention, as a reward, to nurture that new side of him. And it's working! It was touch-and-go for a while, but now he's babbling like a happy drunk. Isn't that better than old-Petri with his vitriol and bravado?

Here are the last of the test answers:

28. Sorry. Those of you who are interested in the latest bleak frankfurter news will find none. My mind is too preoccupied with the magnificence of this design.
Answer: Ignatius - in his journal, about the rally he's planning.

29. Rising to my full height - a spectacle in itself - I looked down upon the offending policeman and crushed him with a comment which, fortunately, he failed to understand.
Answer: Ignatius - in his journal, about the incident with Patrolman Mancuso.

30. I am an Archangel and Christiaan is just a humble Serafim.
Answer: Petri - #74625 - 02/17/07 08:19 AM

This wasn't on the hand-outs, but forum regulars know that Christiaan is often the target of Petri's tantrums, and he says they're a sign that Petri needs cuddling. Also, Ignatius would know that Seraph is a higher rank than Archangel, and that Seraphim is the plural of Seraph.

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