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dontevenjoke

New Product- PetriCad 1.0 (The Final Release)

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Oh, my God! I can't believe the utter filth that I am reading! I do not in any way resemble that specimen of verbal excrescence they call Petri. No doubt the name derives from his place of origin. He has the intelligence and charm of something grown in a petri dish. He is an abomination, not worthy of scraping off the sole of my shoe!

I must admit, his literary style shows promise, particularly when hurling invectives at the other mongoloids in that forum. If only his vocabulary can be enlarged and steered away from the drivel commonly found in science fiction scribblings. But he has no sense of order. No geometry, no theology. He most certainly has not read Boethius. That fact is obvious in his every inane utterance.

Oh, Fortuna, what strange new ungodly terrors has your wheel cast me down among? How can these sub-humans compare my worldview, framed in the writings of the classical philosophers, with that moron, that insignificant speck of dust, that computer person! He probably has the same distorted, grotesque features as all such robotic creatures, from sitting for endless hours staring at their own intellectual reflection in a television screen. They obviously hope to enhance their image of themselves by trying to insinuate that one of their ilk is somehow comparable to me. As if I would ever have time to waste operating one of those absurd devices!

I refuse to listen to this tripe any longer! My valve is on the verge of total collapse. I shall henceforth place all these loathsome creatures on my Ignore list, starting with that pompous self-declared perverter of the minds of the young, Jan15. That such a non-entity could dare to assume the role of teacher is yet another sign of this age of misguided technological nightmare.

Cease and desist, you jackals! Return to the whip and dark room that is your rightful estate, or you shall feel the sting of my verbal wrath!

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ahh piss off.

Ahh, you would say that, wouldn't you! At last there is someone even remotely capable of challenging my authority on all matters relevant to anything, on the basis of deep philosophical understanding of Life, the Universe and Everything.

No, let's hear more from our rookie VW expert Ignatius J Reilly! Surely he has the right to make himself (and the person who poses as him) even more ridiculous. If ever possible.

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At last there is someone even remotely capable of challenging my authority on all matters relevant to anything, on the basis of deep philosophical understanding of Life, the Universe and Everything.

Except for the utter lack of social intelligence. I thought it was little at first, but that part of his brain is so completely numb he doesn't even realize he is carrying this dead weight around.

Unfortunately these people exist in real life, too. So full of their own qualities there is little room for opinions from others. As long as the others hold on to a different opinion the others must be morons and as soon as the person in question realizes is heading for a defeat, he grunts a last insults and keeps his mouth shut for a small period of time, until his ego, brushed up and polished in the mean time, bursts out again.

It is not that these people are stupid, the problem is that their mind set ("Denkraam" or "Window of thought") is so small and limited (not rarely extremely fine tuned on a limited number of subjects, like SF and hard- and software) that they even can't fathom the notion of the whole world of subjects, ideas and thoughts, that might be lying just outside their mental reach.

These people often compare themselves with people like Leonardo Da Vinci, a broadly interested man, knowing almost everything there was to know for a person in those days. But he was modest and realized all too well that he couldn't even imagine the amount of things he didn't know yet.

No Ignatius, you are not an "Uomo Unversale" you simply have a very narrow "Denkraam", and the absence of social capabilities is the first proof of that.

That is why I find little respect for, or interest in, the large number of Ignatius like man (usually male) we see around us, bloating their way through life, leaving a trail of bewildered and hurt, more sensitive and more thoughtful people behind.

Your Dutch Genius,

Gerard

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leaving a trail of bewildered and hurt, more sensitive and more thoughtful people behind.

Thank you for this record for the true meaning of Dutch Genius. Dutch courage, Dutch treat, Dutch intelligence.

Without any proof, our Dutch Genius states that Leonardo da Vinci was humble. OK - that may be so, but I'd still like to see some evidence. For all these years I have always considered the Renessaince geniuses to have been quite forceful personalities. While Orson Welles is not exactly an eye witness, I do believe that his contribution to the script of The Third Man has validity:

"In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed ? they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."

But what do I know! My mind can only handle SF and hard- and software and can't fathom the notion of the whole world of subjects, ideas and thoughts.

Whatever. Our socially intelligent and ever so thoughtful & sensitive Dutchman goes around calling people with better mathematical skills "deluded". Well, that must be Dutch Social Intelligence. Fortunately I'm not cursed with that.

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These people often compare themselves with people like Leonardo Da Vinci, a broadly interested man, knowing almost everything there was to know for a person in those days. But he was modest and realized all too well that he couldn't even imagine the amount of things he didn't know yet.

An excellent point. The truly gifted man is in awe of his gift, and of the giver. The blowhard has no choice but to pump himself up, since his work condemns him.

Petri, still in his drunken stupor, confused Leonardo with the Borgias.

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I must admit, his literary style shows promise, particularly when hurling invectives at the other mongoloids in that forum.

At last there is someone even remotely capable of challenging my authority on all matters relevant to anything, on the basis of deep philosophical understanding of Life, the Universe and Everything.

Love at first sight.

The face in the mirror.

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Gerard,

???Your replies are poignant, especially the "Pirates..." reference, but I fear your words fall distantly short of affecting their intended target. However, they are enjoyed by all others.

???Petri's ego has centered itself in a perfectly mirrored sphere, a place where he sees only himself while all others are conveniently reflected away - a white hole, analogous to the rectum of a cosmic black hole - a singularity where emanates but none can possibly enter. The problem isn't that it is forbidden to enter, but rather that it's completely full of itself. It has been asked, "If a Petrisphere emits crap, would that event not make room to receive external input?" The answer is, "No, due to the instantaneous creation of fecal matter from the entity within the Petrisphere." This insures that the Law of Conservation of Elliptical Thinking is never violated. Add to that, the radius of the perfectly reflective Petrisphere Event-Horizon is constantly maintained, which expands to precisely contain all sepsis and will do so as long as there is a positive flow of self absorbing admiration within. The net effect is a total repulsion of the universe around it.

???At one time it was theorized that the radius of a Petrisphere is monotonically increasing, that is, it is either static or growing but never shrinking, perfectly entrapping the ego within; but that theory has recently been challenged by some very abstruse individuals who hypothesize that under the rarest of conditions, the radius of a Petrisphere may indeed appear to shrink, and possibly disappear. It would be necessary for an ego trapped within a Petrisphere to self-consume, which would entail the total ingestion of the surrounding cesspool contained within the Petrisphere, including the ego itself. Since no input from outside a Petrisphere can affect the contents within, the idea of self consumption must originate from within and it is in realizing this extremely rare sequences of events that the authors of the Shrinking Petrisphere Hypothesis acknowledge the odds of this happening within the expected lifetime of the known universe are essentially zero.

???It is because of my understanding of Petrisphere mechanics that I have refrained from hurling anything at it. However I do believe many have taken pleasure in witnessing how anything and everything is perfectly deflected by the Petrisphere at its event-horizon. I have also noted that quite a few have continued their assault of the Petrisphere in such a way that it appears to give them pleasure. I fear that if this cycle of pleasure seeking stimulus is not abated, we may see a new form of addiction evolve, Petrisphere Poking.

???A Petrisphere Poker should be easily identified by his or her inability to look away from a Petrisphere whenever a piece of flotsam is emitted. Like moths to a flame, a Petrisphere Poker will habitually return and respond to such emanations, no matter how foul they be. I can only imagine a Petrisphere Poker receives great pleasure in seeing how his or her responses are reflected and/or distorted. Though I don't currently advocate discouraging anyone from staring into a Petrisphere, I think I may recommend at some not-too-future date that action be taken to avoid the inevitable negative consequences that will undoubtedly plague anyone who entertains themselves by persistent Petrisphere Poking. Until such time...

Ain't life grand?

Raymond

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Raymond

Congratulations on a truly astonishing dissertation, and thankyou for sharing your deep understanding of Petronics.

This would seem to be the final word. I am speechless.

Charles

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Brilliant, Raymond! I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair. It's definitely the last word in the sense that noone can top it, though the birthday boy is sure to nip at its ankles.

And it raises a serious issue for the Petrisphere-Poking community. Trying to put your third paragraph into layman's terms, we have to face the fact that no matter how much attention we give him, it's never going to be enough. It's like playing with a child -- the child never thinks it's time to quit and go to bed. But on the other hand, if we don't give him at least a little attention every day, he'll seek it in the only way he knows, by misbehaving. God knows his serious comments aren't worth responding to, but people do react to his insults, turning the discussion into a brawl. This humor thread provides a pressure relief valve for all that built-up hot air, but we can't just run it for a little while and then stop. It has to be maintained, or else he'll start acting up in other threads. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.

However, if all forum users were properly trained in the physics of Petrispheres, then perhaps noone would try to throw anything into the Petrisphere, and consequently its emissions wouldn't disrupt a discussion. Noone would be sucked into that vortex of anger and petty insults. The most promising solution to the emerging Petrisphere-Poking craze, therefore, is to make your post a permanent part of the read-only Announcements list, and to require all new users to study it. Katie?

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Guest

For once in my life, I'm not really sure what to say ... :)

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And is there some way that, whenever Petri makes a post, the forum server could automatically attach a disclaimer to it? Something like this:

Warning: Petrisphere emissions hazard.

Avoid Petrisphere Poking, a futile and potentially addictive response.

Please do not reply to the above post before reading this training manual.

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And is there some way that, whenever Petri makes a post, the forum server could automatically attach a disclaimer to it? Something like this:

Warning: Petrisphere emissions hazard.

Avoid Petrisphere Poking, a futile and potentially addictive response.

Please do not reply to the above post before reading this training manual.

Excellent idea jan15. I would propose that we also include this international symbol that I have sketched up. That way, we can ensure compliance world-wide.

{image removed}

VG.

Edited by Katie

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Guest

I am officially closing and locking this dicussion.

This message board is for technical and workflow-based questions while using VectorWorks.

If you have any questions or concerns, please contact me directly:

katie@nemetschek.net.

Thank you for your cooperation.

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This topic is now closed to further replies.
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